Phyllis Diller (July 17, 1917 - )
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Phyllis Diller in Wikipedia
What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
These companies are having a tough time following through with the kind of sales projections they had forecast only months ago. No one, including the analysts themselves, had predicted such a significant and all-encompassing slowdown, and there's a lot more to come.
John Lackey is probably the biggest story. He was terrific for eight innings.
(November 27, 1958 - )
Your actions, and your action alone, determines your worth.